10 Things Hitler Should Have Done Before He Died

Nov 10, 2009 | Stories

No one wants to die, especially if you’re one of those men who are committing sins above the average number of sins an average person should commit (don’t tell God). Another thing, no one wants to die if you’re as bad as Hitler (because you know hell is waiting for you).

763fd50f96fb7be7db536284b0af50ceAccording to Aristotle, man is born with the capacity to execute fair and proper judgment towards things. Before judging Hitler as an evil tyrant, maybe it’s time to offer sympathy and make him less evil just for a few hours or even a few days. As a temporary Hitler sympathizer, here are some of the things I would have suggested Hitler if he was to live today and then die for the purpose of making his life less miserable.

  1. Hitler should have pursued his passion for art. He should have painted flowers and beautiful landscapes for him to realize that planting daffodils is better than conquering countries.
  2. Hitler should have smoked weed with the Jews in his garage so he could realize that being a racist is worse than being a drug addict.
  3. Hitler should have watched a lot of porn so he would be staying inside his room and would have forgotten to declare war against Russia, Italy and UK.
  4. Hitler should have created a Facebook account so he could get the opportunity to communicate with the Jews, tag photos comment on status and get to like posts.
  5. Hitler should have killed Paris Hilton and Britney Spears . He could have slit Paris’ throat for her negative depiction of women in pop culture and rich girls as spoiled brats. He could have mutilated Britney’s genitalia for not wearing panties and for being an irresponsible mother.
  6. Hitler should have gone to the Philippines, visit the beaches and appreciate peace not merely as a concept but as an advocacy.
  7. Hitler should have done his hair in dreadlocks so he could be a bit cool and he would learn to understand other people’s culture.
  8. Hitler should have watched the Scrappy Coco movie and then get to realize that changing the world could be done in hair salons.
  9. Hitler should have talked to Megan Fox and then tell her to show some personality, not just some skin. Next time a reporter interviews her, I hope he could show a slice of her intellect (if she has one).
  10. Hitler should have played in a black metal band and inflict violence and hatred only in songs, not to his people.

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Teia Sorroche

Teia Sorroche

Sober Girl

I'm a wannabe blogger who loves John Rambo, Dr. Martens and everything 90s, an annoying mother and a jealous fan of A.M. Homes.

About The Blog

This blog is a reflection of my struggles to stay sober, creative and relevant for the past eight years. I deal with my very minor (perhaps imaginary) social anxieties through blogging about beauty products that I bought compulsively and conquering awkward feelings whenever I face the camera to awkwardly share my fashion outfits.


It's orgasmic to finally let go of my thoughts and live different lives. Adios. May you find solace in other realms of the universe.
 

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4 Comments

  1. tanduay

    hail hitler!

  2. Teya Sorroche- Guillermo

    Yes, you’re right. Hitler is not an ordinary person. I do admire his charisma to his soldiers and to his country, making him the top leaders of all time. I’ve read his personal life history, and I found out that when he was younger, he always wanted to become an artist, but his father was against it and all of his decisions in his younger years were greatly influenced by his father. His father was a dictator in a way. His father beat him up and forced him in the army.

  3. kenji

    Hiler should have tell his reasons behind his actions. I think Hitler have his own kind of what is right and I am interested about it. Hitler is not an ordinary person and a thought from a person like Hitler is worth knowing to know why people like Hitler do such an act.

  4. Karl

    Lol! Totally dig no. 10…

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